5. On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. And Ill encourage them to be proud. I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. B Blue Apple Senior Member The way you _____ is such a perfect addition for our family. The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." 1. Its obviously a powerful word. 3. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. Its probably contempt and anger. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. . May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. Thanks! . . Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. Feb 10, . Lets look at some examples (followed by some suggested alternatives) adult first, then child, to help illustrate this point: Manager: "Im proud of the report youve written". . Yeah, If grandpa was here, he would have said the same. Language gets corrupted. Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? It's nothing bad or unusual. This is what makes the difference in whether the receiver feels great or resentful. The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . "Scorned ex-girlfriends are the worst. I dont think there is a neutral position. "How long have you been sober?". It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. No. What, do you really? Well, that truly makes my day. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. . It remains condescending and arrogant. No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. And why should I stop using this phrase? 26. But I gratuitously accepted his compliment. When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. This has always happened, but in a context like the current one, in which both rivalry and appearances are highly valued elements, it is very common for this class of individuals, educated to become this way, to appear. However, is this what happens? It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. Now whether its romantic or a deep friendship is a different question. 3. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. I would almost join FB in order to make the comment, Why are you proud and impressed? Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. It may be a taunt from them to do something unusual. Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? 4. I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. Be proud that you are here. Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? If you're a friend, it's friendly. But arguing about what words mean is pointless- meanings vary. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. "We will always remember. Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. 2. Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. Children who are continually praised, or told "Im proud of you" may not believe their parent. 3. Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. If you feel stuck on getting that pride going or can't seem to identify the traits or qualities you're most proud of in yourself, go back in time. When I tell my kids Im proud they are surprised and pleased. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre also taking advantage of the power of positive reinforcement. She is an accredited and highly experienced P.E.T. 14. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. Can't you do something different?" Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. SFD a bit late in the day to be commenting but I think your assessment of the phrase is spot on. Can "me too" be used here? Talents Compliments. 11. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. I think its about the underlying meaning of these words to a child. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. To reply to that right, here are the better and funny responses to I am proud of you from your bestie. but not the p-word. Like I wasnt doing enough before? Larissa is passionate about the skills taught in Effectiveness Training. Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? I agree that its a phrase that is really reserved for the individual doing, or accomplishing something, i.e. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. 3. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. "How I do love you!" Thank you, mom and dad, youre the reason for this. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. Im so happy to have you in my life, thanks! document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All Rights Reserved. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. I think children want simply to be accepted and respected as themselves. Thank you so much! For me, this was a huge take-away moment. I was excited to see your reaction. And now, that you have the other responses to I am proud of you, you can share the same based on whos saying this and after which event. Thanks. Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. 8. "I know how you feel". The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. Lost Index. The most important thing is to show your appreciation and gratitude for their words. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. "I guess we can't all get Ph.D.'s in science like I did.". 4. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: 14. . The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. Who are children then living their life for - themselves, or their parent? When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. Home / How Do I Respond To Im proud of you? Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. With teens and adults, saying "I'm proud of you" is a bit different. But is that really very useful? I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful They may find it difficult to take pride in who they are and what they have achieved. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. "Be proud of your scars. You have overcome something you may not had confidence in yourself to succeed. By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. I admire your ability to ___________. Family Tree. 7. There may be times when he gets some details wrong, but no one is taking score about who gets the fine points right most of the time. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. 3. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. Dear! If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. What does it mean when a woman says she's proud of you? Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. Because we ran into a bunch of other classmates that were also there, we didnt spend time exclusively with each other but we did sit together at the game. Instead, I try implementing the approach from Parent Effectiveness Training (PET), a peaceful, gentle approach to parenting, that teaches respectful communication skills, and offers alternatives to using rewards (such as praise), or punishments (such as saying "Im disappointed"). Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Better Responses 2023. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. 3. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. I think the internet and social media have eaten her brain that she would not only allow their @#[emailprotected] clueless comment to remain public, but that she thanked them? Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. Happy I did it, finally! I dislike the phrase entirely, regardless of how we are involved in the individuals life: parent, teacher, mentor, etc. Im so glad to hear that. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. They include: courage, commitment, imagination and compassion, and oh yes, patience -- lots of it -- because it doesn't happen overnight. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. I again said. Compare: "Oh bear!" Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. Im so glad that youre there for giving me support. 5. How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. But worse, my friend thanked them. What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. Try The Behaviour Window. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. Patricia Velasquez. I still think she was doing this at the time. She says "Good boy. 15. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. Look him in the eyes and smile. If youve finally graduated or youre the first one who got an A + in your entire family, your parents express how proud and happy you make them. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. A very concise and articulate post. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. I am still so mad, but I havent said anything about it. It means that in their eyes you have come a long way from a place you began. (I'd prefer "I'm really impressed with report - I can see how much effort you put in, and it's going to be helpful for the organisation". Your partner is really happy about the achievement that you have made in your life or career. Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. 10. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. 1. Thats the response I was expecting from you. In what context? Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. . I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . 1. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. 12. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. You cannot be proud of anything you were born with, only with what you achieve. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. I guess its an odd word and I stay away from it because I know how sensitive I am to it. He loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make everyday conversations a bit 'lively'. They may continually search for praise from their bosses, their co-workers, their partners. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. The important thing is to reach out and let the person know that they matter to you. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. Love you so much. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence.
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when someone says they are proud of you