Yes, life is complicated indeed, but I dont believe there is a season for sex and then not a season for it. What to do about it: Similar to any other health issue, it's important to be compassionate and supportive of a partner struggling with mental health. It is an axiom of mate selection in nature that males display and females choose. And sadly that is not my situation. Discussing the problem is a problem in itself because she simply get very irritated and by it and thats the end of that! However, if both partners are not okay with a sexless marriage, your relationship wont survive. State your case to your partners. EXACTLY!!! If shes got a spouse who is extremely suspicious, shes not going to feel trusted or respected. Save yourself it is merely self preservation. We werent intimate back then, and a quirk of fate brought us together recently. Even worse, because Im larger than average, she can no longer handle my penis even if she wanted to. Some are related to the pressures and demands of family life. I am now trying to get into health club manament and the barriers for that seem less difficult. The only thing I have now is masturbation about 3 times a week. Open a conversation with your wife about how she's feeling about you and the marriage, big picture, and go from there. Have some fun with someone now and then would help .. any reply on if cheating what to look at to find someone Where???? /* I worked sat and sun all holidays and gave away vacation. . Divorced quickly. I guess my story isnt as bad as many. She is unhappy with your lack of hygiene, 12. Every month in Sex at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. I was not going to reward her or fall into another hug with nothing more than a few seconds of holding, and then a push off. Now whats so hard about that. When you first met her you were in an OTHER zone. Then she was diagnosed with scleroderma shortly before I had a kidney transplant. Here are the 15 most probable reasons behind your wifes lack of interest in intimacy. You have no idea how ignorant your statement is. A year or two is nothing. My grandma used to tell me, You cant fix broken people. He's a great dad, and a considerate husband. Just get out Stan. I know at times shes felt my touching was just for sex, and at times she was right. He has an expectation of honesty and communication, perhaps, but only if he is providing the same for you. If he wont go, go on your own to express your feelings fully and evaluate whether you want to be in this marriage and, if so, what can be done to improve it. Most women find us as nothing more then a sex pig. And now we are old and the chance of my wife changing are now nil. I really miss a girlfriend I used to have who loved giving me oral sex. I have joint custody with my ex. She know eccatly what shes doing. Sexual intimacy is kissing, hugging, touching, petting, laying baked, masturbating one another, oral sex and that look of intensity that tells you that you are desired. I honestly dont know what happens to men as they age. I Got tired of rejection and told her when she wanted to come find me she felt sorry for me and we tried sex toys and one was to big, hurt her but she tried but I could tell. Welcome to, IMO, male divine right. I decided to work the night shift and made it my thing. We signed for our first mortgage when she was in ICU with fourth-stage cancer. That partner depriving you of that intimacy does not give a damn what you do just as long as you do not bother them about it or it interferes with their favorite TV show! There are ways to maintain physical intimacy while someone undergoes treatment for ED. Thank goodness we get along well in every other area, however Im at a loss. Were your one-stop destination for unraveling the mystery that is love. Instead of asking yourself something along the lines of, What to do when wife wont put out? ask your partner if theyd like to experience something different in bed. So, while some continue to coax and prod their spouses to get them in the mood, others resign to fate and either make peace with a sex-starved existence or look for gratification elsewhere. The sooner you understand what it is youre going through, the quicker youll be able to address it. If Im doing the very best I can and feeling pretty good about things, ITS NEVER ENOUGH. My nephews, 1x/month on average, so I dont over do with outside the marriage things at all nor overspend, AT ALL. I rest my case. Hi Monica, You ladies need to get hip on new Sex Play & Sex Toys, My wife of 1yr,(she is 73) ( Im 77) We were having sex every nite & 3 times on weekendsand it all came to a STOP about a month ago. She is against the idea of therapy. I agree 100%. She snores loudly and we have different bedrooms. My wife and I are in our 60s, very active and in good health. Research shows that women who had a positive view of themselves reported higher levels of intimate encounters and arousal. She would use the excuse of my children may interrupt, although I would point out we have a lock on the door. No love no sex. You cannot force desire no matter what you do or if it is the other partner, same thing. I go through the details of your sexual life. He snores so he sleeps in his own bedroom. But on the other side Id the coin, Im dying for not having any kind of touch. I love him and still desire him (even though he lost his hair and gained a gut!!) There is one other medical condition relating to touch called allodynia. The vast majority are trained to be misandrists and far too many are grotesquely unethical. The most affection I can show without her being irritated is spooning for a short period when were in bed Id better not move my hands to caress her! The guy is obviously attracted to you and enjoys your company or why the 30 year dating? Id like to hear how you feel. If your wife is struggling with mental health concerns, anxiety, or depression that are not being handled professionally, gently encourage her to talk with someone about how shes feeling. So around our house it is whispered, why is he mad? she says when she and I are close she gets panic attacks and anxiety attacks. Shes my buddy. I never signed up to be married and not getting sex. Hello Hawkeye My wife and I have been married 20 years. You need to know. he is very persistent. He already said she feels bad for him so she is aware of the problem. As someone who has now gone over 6 years without any contact more intimate than a hug I can tell you it is a relationship killer. Ive been in one for about 47 years and Im the cause of it. So, lets be clear. Wtf are we supposed to do when our spouse doesnt want to make love? Please, do us all a favor and retire from the one thing you SHOULD be retiring from-giving advice. my dad is 85 years old and my mom is 5 years his senior at 90 years old. ( I told him about the job opening). Not so in an egalitarian or woman-dominated marriage where she gets what she wants that always ends in dysfunction & misery. Try to keep things fun and adventurous between the sheets so that your wife is unable to resist you. Hasnt been for decades. Indifferent withholders like my wife NEVER get better and their partners either leave or become bitter! Hello David, But I noticed the past 3 years she has seldom initiated intimate relations, and I attribute that to she likes to use her ipad and play puzzle / word/ and brain teaser games and does surf her FB some. .! I certainly feel your pain and utter frustration. Either her body and hormones are so off that she needs the support of . And everyone under his authority flourishes. I dont care what age this happens to a man, somehow the blame goes to the woman for not looking her best,gaining weight, busy with the kids, not willing to give oral sex and the list goes on and on. Man, thats no way to respond to your wife, person you care deeply about whos saying to you that theyre experiencing mental health crisis in your relationship. Men are not mind readers. Id be interested to find out your age. My only suggestion would be to get out of this marriage and fast. Why do men who want more sex end up insulting someone who has a pet? Its all about the woman needs not the man. It may also be helpful for her to speak with her doctor to see if there are other treatment options that might help. She consulted with her doctor who recommended hormone treatment and her research on cancer had her rejecting that avenue. Hello Will, Below are a few potential reasons that might explain why your wife is not interested in you sexually. She will sit in bed on her phone though. He seems to think (as far as I can surmise) that sex is just a little bit dirty or should only be used for procreation purposes. Seeing a therapist or speaking with her doctor about her mental health is a step in the right direction to help you recognize the woman you fell in love with. Well -they dont. I still love my husband because our relationship doesnt revolve around sex and we can show each other love and affection in many other ways. So, Thomas maybe your right they must be doing it wrong. I cuttle with her, hold her close, hold her hand in public and we talked about it. Most women, especially in our age group, only experience responsive desire. The good news is: there are plenty of ways to banish problems in the bedroom and rekindle the fire with your wife. Isnt it such a shame that Bob here, says he masturbates 3x a week and Im sitting here daydreaming what it would feel like to have it again after years that my husband just cant. . She isnt enthusiastic about that idea. Im too tired. So Mike, I dont know what to say. At first when we were dating this were fine. How should I phrase it? The article itself is very weak and rehashed b.s., But the comments are priceless! Love will always outweigh the brief pleasure that $$ and status can provide. 17) She doesn't try to make you feel better anymore. My sexual desire just stopped. My shower massagers has gotten me through years but it never will replace that hard feeling down inside me that I long for, yet believe now I will never feel again and Im only in my 50s. Before the ink was dry on the marriage license, shed already decided she was done being nice. But, you must remember that this rejection of your sexual advances is often triggered by some underlying reasons. he will not give me a divorce so yes take a lover if you need too cause feeling wanted, desired, and loved, is like food we all need it and deserve it! Having married one of the well into that 34% is hell. Instead of focusing on harmful sentiments like, What to do when wife wont put out? try to work on the issues you two are having. Would you be willing to see a therapist with me to learn how to talk about this? We have been together since the 80s and there is No ONE else I want to be with. It literally saved my marriage and maybe my life. I spent 36 years with a man who I was never good enough for and now in a relationship with a man who loves me and is so kind. Besides intercourse itself, she turns me away when I attempt to initiate some sort of intimacy by kissing or stroking, things she used to love in the past. Be grateful you were able to find someone in life to love and be loved by, many of us take this for granted not realizing how many lonely people there are out there who were never as lucky as we have been. Anyway, I think when one person in a marriage comes to the point my husband is at and apparently yours is too a therapist is really the only answer. a great career in media..She seems to have lost interest in ME. Start by losing the weight, shaving the body, washing daily, put some effort into youre own self and for Christs sake, clean up after yourself. Its always whatever you want then she lays there kind of tense. why is he grumpy? I so badly need a woman If theres resentment in the marriage, its bound to manifest itself in a sexless marriage. Here are some possible openings finesse one or more of these to fit your comfort and style: I strongly suggest that you see a sex therapist (find one in your location) or a sex-savvy counselor for guidance. // Replace PAGE_IDENTIFIER with your page's unique identifier variable Why would anyone want to have sex with your pessimistic, crotchety, excuse-ridden ass? Frankly, Im ready for a change of scene because this is like living with someone who it seems might be happier living off by himself.
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my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore